In an attempt to unblock creativity, I am still trying to get clarity on the subtle ways that my thoughts get highjacked. Sometimes I feel like a sponge that absorbs thought forms that are floating around in the space above me. I used to think that all those thoughts belonged to me and maybe they do, but sometimes, if I am open and not grounded in an intent to stay centered and stay in control of me, then I feel vulnerable to subtle negative thought forms. It is a daily commitment to maintain awareness to be free of the grip of the parasite. For 14 years I have been aware of "the parasite" when I studied the Toltec wisdom in a dreaming group led by one of the first apprentices of Don Miguel Ruiz. I was introduced to "the parasite" that feeds off my own negative thought forms. This was a powerful group of about 10 to 15 participants and we delved deeply into the Toltec teachings. This particular teaching, about the parasite, was intense. We brougt the parasite into the light to examine it. The parasite lives and thrives in the darkness, in the dark corners of our subconscious mind and controls us in ways that we are not aware of. The discovering of the parasite became very real to me. Yes, it got scary. It felt it like a genuine force that lived in the space around me and I could sense the desperate grip it had on me, as its host. It needed me to feed it negative thought forms to survive. Every living thing needs food. So in my attempt to unblock creativity, I realize that in creating negative thought forms to feed the parasite I am still creating. I just don't want to create food for the parasite anymore, so by not creating negativity I am allowing my natual creative energy that I heart centered, to open and be free!! If it is true that we are Creators by nature, then I have the choice to create what I want to create. So by being aware and by bringing the parasite into the light and examining it, I can be free of it. I cannot declare war on it because it will win. It knows me intimately and it knows how to fight me. My only choice is to respect it as a worthy opponent and bring in the LIGHT OF AWARENESS...
I also studied with Lynn Andrews in her 4 year school, The Lynn Andrews Center for Sacred Arts and Training. In her teachings of the Sisterhood of the Shields, there is a Mayan elder named Jaguar Woman. Here is a teaching from her book "Jaguar Woman"
"Every thought we think in our lifetime has a life of its own and has a will to live and survive. This is particularly true when our thoughts are unresolved. Thoughts are like people. They have to be buried properly. If a thought is negative or unresolved, it lurks around us for us to finish what we started and bury it in the right way, make it complete. When our thoughts are contradictory and have no clarity, we create a universe of thought forms that live off our energy. And why not? We are their mother in a strange way".
Lynn V. Andrews